My Brick Wall

This is one of my biggest issues in life...my brick wall. What happens is I put some effort into something and then I just quit...thats right I quit. When I began my weight loss journey 1 year ago I started out at 228 pounds. The heaviest I have ever been in my life. As I worked last year I had this goal of losing all this weight for my wedding. I had to fit into that white dress...it wasn't an option because I couldn't walk down the aisle in my chonies....I had something to work towards. So I did it, I worked so hard and I got down to 201...Now mind you I did have a dress debacle...in which the original dress I chose showed up destroyed and with 17 days left before my wedding I had to chose a new wedding dress. When this happened it broke my heart...I didn't have alot to chose from when you have to pick from those bigger sizes. As I tried things on my heart just began to sink and that brick wall grew a little bigger. I got down to 201 pounds...which is 27 pounds of weight gone and that in itself is a huge accomplishment and I was nothing but disappointed.
  The wedding came and went and I settled right into life again...and what do you know that weight just creeped right back on...and before I knew it I was at 221 again. And with all the stress of life and things changing I just ignored the weight gain. Ken and I had decided that we wanted to try to start a family and so we began to try. And sure enough I got pregnant. I went in to the doctor and we talked about everythign that was going to happen and my weight immediately became a big scare for me. I was in fear of developing gestational diabetes and just gaining all that weight and never getting rid of it again... well I wanted to make sure I was doing everything that I could to be healthy during my pregnancy.
  About 8 weeks into things we went in for an appointment and found out that I was miscarrying. Now I know I wasn't very far along...but its still a very emotional issue to try to comprehend. Now after everythign I met with my doctor who is fantasic. She reassured me that my weight had nothing to do with it...and I believe her, but its hard not to feel like when your overweight that contributed to what happened. Not to worry though becasue I did cut my hair all off when this happened...and had gained a few pounds as well ...and I had some words with my Heavenly Father about leaving me heafty with short hair and now no ability to even gain some extra cash because you can't donate plasma ..UGH.
   So after this I was in full swing...and I did really well. I busted my bum and I counted every thing that I put into my body, and I was kicking butt in my workouts and I started dropping weight like a crazy lady. And then that ugly brick wall reared its head right back up at me. Parent teacher conferences came and threw me right off my game...which was followed by a trip to SLC to see an NBA game...and what do you know... in the last 3 weeks I have lost 1 pound...yes 1 pound. And I'm just so disappointed that I have made the choices that I have and things have transpired the way they have these weeks.
  SO my goal is this...I am going to break through the brick wall and get into what all those fabulous people on the BL call "ONEDER land" which is where the number that starts your weight is a 1...Thats my goal. I have 2 weeks until I meet with my trainer for the last time. This is another giant struggle for me...because I love the accountability she provides for me. Yet it is expensive. So my fabulous friends and I have created an accountabilty thing where whoever doesn't lose the most weight...puts $5 into a jar. So hopefully that helps me along my way. So to my brick wall ....I'm about to tear you down!